My Mother-in-law is too Involved in Our Relationship
Not everyone is blessed with an amazing, supportive, loving mother-in-law. Some have good intentions, and others are just out to judge and criticise. If you are struggling to establish boundaries with your mother in law, consider the following advice:
Establish Boundaries Together
In order to set out rules for the involvement of in-laws in your relationship, you need to discuss this with each other. It’s important to discuss your concerns with your partner before declaring war against your mother in law. Ask your partner to take over the discussion if you are feeling too emotional or triggered.
Remember, it’s his or her parent and regardless of their behavior, they should be treated with respect. The last thing you want to do is create problems between you and your partner as well.
Stick to Your Style
It’s normal for the in-laws to have opinions about the way you live your life or raise your children. Try to acknowledge their input but stick to the style you’ve established in your relationship. Don’t be afraid to reject their input, but do so kindly and with empathy.
Schedule Family Time
Are you scheduling enough family time at the moment? Your mother in law could be acting out because they feel neglected. In order to prevent an influx of involvement try to schedule quality time with the family at least once a month. This way nobody will feel left out, and during the rest of the month, you could remind them that you can discuss it at the next family event.
Know When To Hold Your Tongue
It might be tempting to react to each statement or response that you find triggering, but holding your tongue could really help you in the long run. This doesn’t mean you approve of their behavior, but rather choose which topics and issues are important to you and stand up for yourself when it comes to those topics.
If you are having consistent problems with your mother in law and you aren’t getting the support you need from your partner or the rest of your family, it could be beneficial to discuss the issues and concerns with a licensed therapist. Sun Point is based in Lancaster, Pennsylvania - conveniently located in the center of downtown.