How to Regain Trust After Infidelity
One of the most difficult betrayals which some couples go through can be an affair. The first step for couples is to process what happened and reflect on the here-and-now state of emotions.
The manner in which couples deal with infidelity differ, but if you are looking to regain trust in your relationship the following would be suggested:
The last thing that you want is to bring in more lies into your relationship. Honesty is crucial if both parties want to recover from what happened. Expectations need to be dealt with and you should be willing to answer each other’s questions regarding the incident truthfully. This is the only way for both parties to move forward.
Build Towards to Future
This is one of the trickier aspects of recovery. If you’ve decided to stay together after the infidelity, you cannot hold on to the past and past mistakes. Try to work on the future that you want to build together and refrain from bringing up the past during arguments.
Understanding why this happened will help you to prevent similar instances in the future. If you are the one that cheated, really explore why this happened and discuss it with your partner. It is your responsibility to own up to your actions If you were on the receiving end, also think about how your behavior might have been a contributing factor.
Discuss Boundaries and Expectations
It’s easy to just assume how things will be handled moving forward, but it’s these assumptions that could lead to unhealthy coping methods. For instance, although the cheating happened, your partner still has the right to privacy. There are no grounds for verbal or physical abuse just because the one partner slipped up. Discuss possible boundaries and what you are expecting of each other so that both parties are on the same page.
If you are having a tough time dealing with infidelity and you aren’t completely sure how to move forward, individuals or couples counseling might be the answer. You can book your therapy session in Lancaster by following this link: https://www.lauramorse.org/schedule/. Trying to start some of the repair work on your own? We highly recommend Tammy Nelson’s book “The New Monogamy: Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity”. The book features many exercises for couples to work through together.