Signs You're Projecting In Your Relationship
As much as we try to be in tune with our bodies and minds, we can’t always pinpoint what is bothering us or we feel frustrated for ‘no reason’. It’s during these more fragile moments in life where we become guilty of projecting our personal issues onto those that we care about.
Projection is an unconscious fantasy that we are able to rid ourselves of some part of our psyche by splitting it off and putting it outside ourselves, usually into somebody else. - After Psychotherapy
If you want to know if you’re guilty of projecting onto your relationship, ask yourself the following questions:
When we project we tend to believe that we are 100% right about a situation and your partner is 100% wrong or at fault. Physically you’ll feel enraged and your body language will be that of someone trying to intimidate another person.
Sometimes projection shows its face in the way we speak to others. Do you find yourself telling others what they should or shouldn't be doing? Isn’t this maybe the need to control your surroundings peeking through the surface?
Feeling Deeply Wronged
Do you find yourself deeply hurt after a minor argument with your significant other? It’s likely that you are projecting your past onto them. Does it feel similar do hurtful or fearful situations that you experienced in the past? Did someone disappoint you or let you down in the way it ‘feels’ like your partner is doing now?
Try to make notes about the feelings and what it reminds you of so that you can make sense of your behavior and ultimately heal from the past and present situations.
Are you criticizing your partner for no apparent reason? Could this maybe reflect the need to you have to feel superior or better than others? It’s not our job to impose our views of the world or others onto each other. Ask yourself what is bothering you within your own life when you find yourself unnecessarily criticizing your significant other.
Projection within relationships can be very damaging if not dealt with. At our practice in Lancaster we deal with all kinds of relationship issues, and we’d be happy to assist you and your partner.